Are you ready? Here we go..

This is the second time I've written this blog. The first time..I was writing as someone who thought they knew me..but just kept it safe. That was my "old man" talking. He likes to think he's still in control sometimes..but when I wake up at 5am and realize I was mislead..that makes me angry. I made a promise to God and my wife that I wouldn't live my life in those old clothes anymore. That's a place of laziness and complacentcy..just doing enough to get by and squeak through without causing ripples and not being put on the spot. I've lived most of my life in fear. Fear of being not good enough. Fear of rejection. Fear of looking like an idiot. Fear of stepping out of my comfort zone.
The last 2-3 months have really shown me that I don't have the choice of fear anymore..that to live that way is cheating my family, God and myself out who I'm sposed to be. No one should live in fear. No one should feel like they don't have anything to offer because of the lies they hear in this world. That's the thing right? We get comfortable in our fears..we get comfortable with just enough...I'm really, REALLY tired of it. Tired of not knowing what say even though I know better.
I haven't been the man of God that I should be..and that's ok...but from here on out, living in willful ignorance and fear just isn't an option anymore. My wife and son deserve more than that.. And God..my creator and my friend..he definitly deserves that from me.

So..am I ready? Here we go..